Running Into Joy

I write to you from the hazy fog brought on by a string of heavy symptom days with occipital neuralgia. For the last few months of 2019, I enjoyed blissfully low to no symptoms and, in truth, felt very much like I was "better." And then... the tense headache warning of what's to come. So, as much as I love a crisp new planner and the start of a new year, I'm struggling to find optimism. It's hard to feel like it's a fresh new year when I'm carrying over the same old chronic pain that met me in August of last year. In spite of this, I carry the lessons with me that going for a run will actually improve symptoms, not make them worse. And so, as the year of my half marathon (fingers crossed) begins, I'm continuing my training plan. Yesterday, I met a challenge that feels both distant and familiar. My symptoms were heavy, shocking pains coming frequently and a tell-tale tightness in my right neck muscles. I debated skipping the day's 45 minute ru...

Hello, internet people! Yesterday, we here in Pittsburgh got our first big snow of the season, which means the ground this morning was coated in little patches of ice. Being of the clumsy variety, I've fallen down enough times just trying to exist in the world, so I don't take chances when it comes to running outside in icy conditions. I love running outside, so the shift to the indoor months is always a bit of a struggle. I woke up this morning, check the temperature and took a peek outside, and almost immediately started trying to talk myself out of my morning run. "You can go after work," my brain said. I didn't want to go the extra mile of driving myself to Planet Fitness, didn't want the monotony of the treadmill. I almost gave in, but then I remembered--I'm 5 weeks into this training plan, and I promised I wouldn't quit on myself. I shrugged into gym clothes, grumbling in my head the whole time, and drove myself the exactly 5 minutes it tak...

Cue Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's "A Diagnosis." I've written a few times before about my chronic pain and the road to figuring out what I do and don't have. This week, I visited my neurologist for a long awaited follow-up appointment, the theme of which was basically "Okay, so we know I don't have multiple sclerosis or a brain tumor, so what now?" If you've never had a doctor show you pictures of your brain at 9am, let me just tell you I don't recommend it. Back in college when I took Neuroscience, I always used to get this weird, fuzzy feeling whenever I had to look at images of brains for too long. It always kind of freaked me out to think too hard about that little thing inside my head that was making me think all of my me thoughts. So staring in the face of not just pictures of any brain, but my very own brain, was something before which I would have preferred more coffee. Alas, it was not to be. The morning of my follow-up appointment, I ...