Running Into Joy

Today, I'm trying to put into words the special significance yoga has come to have in my life. I know, I know-- enough with the yoga talk already. For people who aren't into yoga, who don't want to get into yoga, or who are tired of people telling them yoga is a cure-all, I want to say that I hear you. I believe yoga can be for everyone (as in, you could do some form of yoga if you wanted to), but not everyone needs yoga, and it certainly can't fix everything. And yet, this practice feels so deeply personal and integral to how I come to peace with my body, settle into the experience of being inside the ever-changing single body I will inhabit during my life. I've written before about the significant, critical mental shift I experienced while on the Find What Feels Good yoga retreat with everyone's favorite internet guru, Adriene. But what I struggle to put into words is the everyday role yoga has in my life. When it isn't about completely removing my...

Hello, hello! Today is January 21st. It also happens to be the 20th day in Yoga With Adriene's 30 Day yoga journey for 2020, called HOME. As we are ever so slightly over halfway through the journey, quest, challenge, I've been reflecting on the experience so far. For those who don't know, Adriene Mischler is an online yoga teacher, guru, and all around amazing creator who has been bringing free yoga to YouTube for years. She's got a massive following and is truly a celebrity in her own right. She also happens to my first teacher of yoga, and still my favorite. This is my fifth year dedicating the month of January to a daily practice with Adriene. Since 2015, Adriene has created a 30-day yoga series, one new video released for every day of the month of January. And since then, I have been one of those people following along day by day. I haven't managed to stick to it every day for every year but nevertheless each year on Thanksgiving I start looking forward to...

I write to you from the hazy fog brought on by a string of heavy symptom days with occipital neuralgia. For the last few months of 2019, I enjoyed blissfully low to no symptoms and, in truth, felt very much like I was "better." And then... the tense headache warning of what's to come. So, as much as I love a crisp new planner and the start of a new year, I'm struggling to find optimism. It's hard to feel like it's a fresh new year when I'm carrying over the same old chronic pain that met me in August of last year. In spite of this, I carry the lessons with me that going for a run will actually improve symptoms, not make them worse. And so, as the year of my half marathon (fingers crossed) begins, I'm continuing my training plan. Yesterday, I met a challenge that feels both distant and familiar. My symptoms were heavy, shocking pains coming frequently and a tell-tale tightness in my right neck muscles. I debated skipping the day's 45 minute ru...

Cue Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's "A Diagnosis." I've written a few times before about my chronic pain and the road to figuring out what I do and don't have. This week, I visited my neurologist for a long awaited follow-up appointment, the theme of which was basically "Okay, so we know I don't have multiple sclerosis or a brain tumor, so what now?" If you've never had a doctor show you pictures of your brain at 9am, let me just tell you I don't recommend it. Back in college when I took Neuroscience, I always used to get this weird, fuzzy feeling whenever I had to look at images of brains for too long. It always kind of freaked me out to think too hard about that little thing inside my head that was making me think all of my me thoughts. So staring in the face of not just pictures of any brain, but my very own brain, was something before which I would have preferred more coffee. Alas, it was not to be. The morning of my follow-up appointment, I ...

It's been well over a month since I spent a weekend tent camping at the Omega retreat center in Rhinebeck, New York. It's taken me some time to process the experience, for a number of reasons, not least among them the events that led up to the trip. Just before my move, I developed a dull headache and sharp, stabbing pains at the nape of my neck. When these symptoms persisted, I saw a doctor and was diagnosed with occipital neurlagia, a relatively rare primary headache disorder, according to WebMD (which my therapist has since banned me from using--rightly so). Long story short, the first run of medication handled my pain symptoms but had a slew of nasty side effects that led my doctor to recommend I see a neurologist. The neurologist agreed with the initial diagnosis, but recommended an MRI to rule out additional potential causes of my other symptoms. Those causes? Oh, brain tumors or Multiple Sclerosis. "Any other questions for me?" the neurologist asked at...

Today, I'm here to check in and recap on my first finished fitness goal of 2019: completing Yoga with Adriene's Dedicate, that 30 Day Yoga Journey your friends have been posting about on Instagram. I first discovered Adriene's YouTube channel while in college and fell instantly in love with her laid back teaching style. For me, it's the perfect blend of taking the practice seriously while also infusing it with a sense of humor. I was there for the OG YouTube journey, 30 Days of Yoga, back in 2014. That means FIVE YEARS of starting my January off this way! This year has been especially weird and wonderful seeing how much Yoga with Adriene has grown since I first joined the community. Where once, I was basically talking at myself about this online yoga thing, now it seems everywhere I turn people are posting about Dedicate . It's heartwarming to see Adriene garner this success and take on new projects. In that unique internet way, it feels like I've known ...